Nowadays we can say that we build fantasies that feed our desires and dreams in all dimensions of our lives, which allows us to evolve and develop our creative potentialities. At the root of fantasy is abstract thought, which has long been used by man as a fundamental element for him to act in his environment, in a more elaborate andcomplex.

In the universe of sexuality, fantasy is one of the capacities that distinguishes us from animals, which act only on sexual instinct. Fantasy is inherent to human sexuality, and is its greatest metaphor. It is impossible to think of sexuality without thinking of fantasy and illusion, which are translated into a dazzling sense of wonder at the possibility of fulfillment.

Fantasy allows sexuality to express itself in the most different languages, such as in music and poetry, whose imaginings even denote erotic and ardent love encounters.

Besides languages, there are also some classics that populate the universe of sexual fantasy. Strawberry, for example, is considered a highly sensual fruit, but, in fact, it becomes much more of an aphrodisiac in the lovers' fantasy.

Contrary to this trend, I usually say that the most sensual Brazilian fruit that exists is the persimmon. To the light touch and rub of the lips on its skin, this fruit responds by opening itself completely to the mouth that wants it, letting flow its sweet and abundant nectar. I have just described here a sexual fantasy, perhaps unimaginable for many. But probably some couples will be able to include thetasting the fruit in their seduction ritual, on certain occasions.

What's behind sexual fantasies

Man, in his interaction with the world, develops this infinite capacity to fantasize and this allows him to easily imagine everything he desires. Fantasy is built in a field very close to that of dreams, since they are creations that portray our desires and end up guiding our life choices and options. We desire because we are not enough and, therefore, we dream and imagine fantasies toto achieve our innermost desires.

When it comes to our love fantasies, we build what we want, either by seeking ideal partners or by being with them, in order to live more fully the adventure that romance offers. Many times, the simple fact of telling our partner about our sexual fantasies can become a healthy experience and its unfoldings will be actively enjoyed, bringing more excitement to lifesexuality of the couple.

In addition, it is also an indirect way for partners to teach each other how they would like to be touched and loved sexually. Thus understood, sexual fantasy becomes a practice that leads to self-knowledge, favoring the perception of the reality that the person desires.

Our body responds quickly to our sexual fantasies: sensations of desire for fulfillment, well-being, goose bumps and chills run through the body flooded with thought provoked and elaborated with rich and intimate details. In this sense, sexual fantasy becomes useful and necessary, because it takes place in an imaginary universe, which then anchors reality. And this manifests itself through resultsIt becomes a great therapeutic ally when we intend to reverse low libido, induce or enhance sexual desire, and improve some dysfunctions, or even, to rekindle romances corroded by routine and the stressful day-to-day life.

When sexual fantasy becomes your enemy

If on the one hand the role of fantasy is closely related to the development of a healthy sex life, on the other hand, negative and inadequate fantasies can feed our fears, prejudices and traumas, and prevent us from enjoying a sexual practice that is enriching and integrating our being.Our fears and desires, even if not rational, can become rash fantasies, causing disappointments and even sexual blockages.

Moreover, fantasizing about being with someone else - when you are already in a relationship - can be an indication of dissatisfaction in the love routine. Unions of convenience often survive for a certain amount of time because of fantasies of this kind. However, partners can hardly disguise the lack of affection. If they do, over time they can develop irreparable damage to therelationship.

Another aspect to be considered concerns excessive sexual fantasy, which can lead to the development of sexual compulsion. This manifests itself through fantasies that take over the person's thoughts, like a constant restlessness, which he or she cannot get rid of.

The line dividing the benefits of sexual fantasy from its evils is clear. It completes life together when it is possible to tell one's fantasies to one's partner without guilt, embarrassment, or hurt. On the contrary, in this case the fantasy becomes a possibility for new sexual experiences, in a healthy ethic of transgression of customs, for a creative and pleasurable sexual freedom.On the other hand, any imbalance in one of the lovers can become an inhibitor to the couple's possible sexual practices.

Have you ever tried putting your fantasy into practice?

Who hasn't dreamed of an unforgettable night of love and surrender together with their partner? Romantic scenes, such as a candlelit dinner, secluded beaches paradise for two, or risky sex in public places are some of the many examples that fill the thoughts of lovers in love.

We can compare sexual fantasy to a "waking dream", which, being more elaborate, is composed of scenarios rich in details and allows us to toy with our imagination: sensual environments and seductive plots end up awakening the desire for its realization.

Sexual fantasies range from sensual and erotic games, to the pure and simple imagination of stimulating atmospheres that gather favorable conditions for affective closeness. Exploring this universe can mean breaking through the resistance created by our fears and negative fantasies.

Get rid of prejudices and live your sexuality

The more we exercise our sexual creativity, the greater our perception of our erotic sensations. Fantasies allow us to free ourselves from preconceptions and taboos. In this way we reveal ourselves more authentically, which translates into total surrender and a true experience of completeness.

By feeding our sexual creative capacity, we can surprise ourselves, for we stimulate a healthy fantasy, common among us human beings, but which we did not imagine would bring so many benefits. We can say that our innermost desires, both sexual and higher, are pathways to the desires of the heart and soul. Becoming aware of these pathways canmean the discovery of a vast inner universe, capable of enriching our relationships and getting closer to our life projects.

Thus, the fulfillment of our desires passes through what we fantasize. It is in the movement of wishful thinking that we move towards satisfaction. So, close your eyes, exercise your imagination. Fantasize to experience and practice.

Get to know The Six Ways of Love, the new book from the Personare Collection, and discover the infinite possibilities of your affective life.