When we talk about spiritual retreat, many people imagine that scene of the monk meditating on the mountain or that super expensive spa that is hard to "afford". A time to pause and immerse yourself is cheap, it can be done wherever you are, and it is this time for yourself that can save us from the fatigue of autopilot.

We wake up with a tight schedule, our heads are often already racing with all the things we have to do, then comes the traffic, and throughout the day the things that need to be done accumulate faster than we can handle them.

The result? Chronic fatigue, tightness in the chest, the feeling of carrying the world on your back and having no time for almost nothing. This is just one example of our modern routine, of a busy urban life, in which pauses and quiet moments seem to be increasingly out of fashion.

A third of the world's population is depressed, Brazil has 18.6 million people with anxiety disorders, according to the World Health Organization, and stress has reached 70% of Brazilian workers.

Our routine in big cities is focused on personal and professional results. In general, we dedicate little time to the main people in our lives and even less close to nature.

Our daily life seems to be aligned with what we want, but in reality, it does little to fulfill us. Stop to think with me:

After a day of your week, do you come home with energy, enthusiasm and excitement, or looking for a rest and distraction from a head full of problems? You may argue that it is a matter of physical tiredness, that it is natural, but just think how we come home from an exciting program like a concert, a trip, a long walk.

No matter how physically tired we may be, the feeling when we come back from a happy moment like this is one of well-being and excitement. Depending on what it is, we arrive with more energy than when we left home.

TO MAKE A SPIRITUAL RETREAT IS TO GET OFF THE AUTOPILOT

We build a daily life that fills us little, because we are almost always running our own lives on autopilot. We make choices and decisions without realizing that they are reproductions of other people.

Without realizing it, we desire what seem to be happy lives from the outside. We seek status and money thinking that buying x or y will make us feel better. Or because we see - from the outside - the life of the rich and famous and they seem to have no problems.

We wish for a relationship like this or like that, without realizing how much this is a repetition of something we inherited from our family or in an ancestral way. We go on with these decisions that may even be thought out, but are mental programmings far away from who we really are. And our daily life goes on reflecting this.

But how can you get out of this trap? How can you gradually design the life that will actually make you happy and fill your days with more smiles, energy, and harmony?

In my 14 years of experience following life paths and trajectories with Personare, I realized that there is no way out of this trap without diving into one's own self-knowledge.

In order to set goals, and for them to actually be ours, we first need to know who we are. We need to find out what dreams and desires are these reproductions of parents, family members, celebrities or other social images.

One technique that I have tried - and that has started to make all the difference in my life in the last six years, is to attend spiritual retreats. Every month I attend a retreat at a specific location where I spend at least one day offline and immersed in meditation practices, therapies and healing.

I come away renewed and usually with a vision of something I need to change in my daily life. Sometimes it is big changes, sometimes just a different look or a reconnection with something inside me that was missing in my daily life.

HOW TO START YOUR OWN SPIRITUAL RETREAT

ONE DAY A MONTH DEDICATED TO YOU

• Set aside one day a month as your time, it can be on the weekend to make it easier. Give up social engagements, create a way to release yourself and be more alone.
• For those who have children or care for others, see if you can get some help, if only for a few hours.

CHOOSE YOUR SACRED SPACE

By sacred space I mean any and every place that helps you connect to yourself. A great free temple available to everyone is nature.

Go to a place you like in your city where you can spend the day. Turn off cell phones or disable notifications. Set yourself a goal to be offline for at least three to four hours.

ITINERARY OF YOUR RETREAT

• You can start with a meditation audio to connect with yourself.
• Then you can enjoy your company for a while and take a contemplative walk, lie down on the grass or sand and just look at the sky, for example.
• Those who practice yoga or other sports can also use the moment for this. Choose a practice that strengthens the connection with you and the nature around you.
• Then have a nice meal there - bring a snack, have a picnic.
• When you feel you've silenced and slowed down. Write down insights that came throughout the morning, notice how you felt, what themes came to your mind, and how easy or difficult it was to go offline. I keep a notebook just for these moments, so I can remember these learnings and bring them into my life more easily.
• Then look at a challenge in your life, notice how you feel about it. Notice how that challenge is affecting other areas of your life. I have a practical exercise for this that you can download and use right now if you like.
• Important: don't try to solve the problem rationally, don't expect to come home with a magic solution for your life.
• The chips will fall as the week goes on, and the most important thing is to create that space of connection with your inner self. This will make more of a difference in your life than any practical decision you can make.

WHAT CAN SABOTAGE YOUR SPIRITUAL RETREAT

The first time you take this time away from yourself, unconsciously you may sabotage your own spiritual retreat. This happens for many reasons.

In general, we are afraid of this connection with our inner self, our sense of identity is shaken, and we are afraid to dive into the unknown. After all, life on autopilot may not nourish us, but at least it is known.

Self-sabotage can come in the form of procrastination, unexpected problems, and the unforeseen. Let them come and stay focused. Remember that they are obstacles, but don't give up on your day, even if you spend fewer hours on it.

During the spiritual retreat, you may feel distress, anxiety, you may find it very difficult to turn off your cell phone, or you may have impulses to pick it up to check messages or social networks.

If you do it without realizing it, when you notice it, go back to the retreat. About the feelings that come up, you can deal with them in a few ways:

• If it is difficult to do nothing, you can propose a contemplative activity, trying to notice details of flowers, trees, and nature in general. You can use a camera and register this new look at the scenery where you are.
• Another possibility is to use a notebook to record feelings and thoughts as they come into your mind in what is known as a cathartic process. Write without limiting yourself, locking yourself in, or thinking you should feel differently, just write down what comes into your mind and create that connection with your less rational, more spontaneous side.
• If it still doesn't feel right, you can do a breathing exercise that helps you to quiet and calm down.
• Another practice that brings calm and tranquility is to do a gratitude exercise, to develop a more positive outlook on your moment and your life. Just set yourself the task of listing at least 20 things that you feel grateful to be, have, or experience in your daily life.

LEARNINGS FROM THIS MOMENT

Don't expect any great transformations the first time you take this time for yourself. You may even feel less excited and remember sorrows and pains that end up masked in everyday life.

Contrary to what you may think, that's great.It shows that you are more aware about how you feel.I wrote more about how sadness can be our ally here, if you want to know more.

The power of the retreat practice is in creating this periodic path of connection with you. This space of silence and contact with your feelings is a moment to disconnect from what is outside or who is outside, to create a real contact with your inner self. There lies your point of transformation.

As I always say, don't take my word for it. Go ahead, try it out and tell me how it went! You can find me at [email protected] and on my Instagram profile @carolasenna. Good discoveries to you!